Thursday, April 21, 2011

Elbrewery's Hevelius Kaper Lager

At first sniff you can tell this beer was brewed purposefully to get you jack hammered. The aroma is very sweet; and sugar is a main contributor to alcohol strength. Too afraid to sip this 8.7% ABV beauty, I peruse the label; no men with mustaches (minus one). This beer is from Poland and it's called Hevelius Kaper from Elbrewery; not to be mistaken with Mexico's El Brewery. It was named after the Johannes Helvelius, who was clearly once mayor of Danzig. (I wish I was lying about this.) He called it Mother's Milk (made that up) and once proclaimed it was "Not of this World" (Also, made up). After taking a sip it's clear that this is not meant for you standard European Nobleman. It doesn't taste like a "bad" beer that's 8.7%, but it definitely tastes like it's 8.7% in a bad way. This Johannes Hevelius actually sounds like a legit character; he was in cahoots with Sobiesky who you might remember from this, but this is not about men who both had astonishing mustaches, this is about beer. Based from the bottle is distributed by the Zyweic group. I'm not gonna lie, this lager is nearly undrinkable. This is one of those things you might see a hozo buy (half hobo, half bozo) and since a 500mL bottle was only two bones and some quarters, not unbelievable. If you need to get a buzz real fast and also wanna look interesting, invest in this, otherwise, you are better off drinking something else. A swing and a miss for Poland on this "Devil's Plaything".

Drinkability: 2/10
Taste : 2/10
Value: 8/10

Overall: 4.0/10

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